Open2it Community Blog

I found an audio tape from a friend, a letter by recorded voice.  It was really interesting to hear his voice, only 13-years-old, talking to me through time and space.  But what a shock, he suggests on the tape that we should use up this 90-minute tape by recording back-to-back to each other and then we could send it back and forth until the time is used up.  I thought to myself, ah, surely that didn't happen, because here I have the tape.

Surprise!  At the end of his talking, suddenly I heard my own.  I inform "him" that I had taped over something else I recorded two years ago, so that must've been my 15-year-old voice.  I could hear the puberty in my voice, plus a little cold.  I start out all over the place, trying to reconnect to this person I hadn't actually sent the tape back to during all that time, and in the end settle in to talking about the people I was now connected to in the new place.  I seemed to be explaining why I hadn't written, why I was kind of transitioning to California from Texas, and why my new connections were becoming stronger than the old ones.

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"It's 3 am, I must be lonely" -- Matchbox 20, 3 AM.

Can a life be judged by what can not be blogged?  I think in a good life, as in a life in which a person is good, everything about her life would be fit for public consumption.  But I feel furtive and evasive.  I am embarrassed and mortified at my own behavior, my thoughts.  I pick and choose carefully what can be set down here.

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I need some help.  Something happened today that I need someone to explain to me. 

I Have written blog here before about what I've been going through.  Here's an overview.  My divorce will be final on January 13th.  My husband and I have been apart for 6 months.  The reason for the divorce is that my husband could not remain faithful.  I found out that it has been unfaithful 8 times in the 10 years we were married. 

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